An Important Message for the Leader

Young men in our society today face many conflicting messages and pressures concerning their masculinity. Certainly, the conventional pictures of masculinity as predatory sexuality, of sex as conquest, of strength as domination, of success solely as personal gain, are still prevalent. The consequences of so many young men desperately seeking to conform to those images and expectations are prevalent as well. From crimes of violence to destructive relationships to children who don’t know their fathers, the list is all too familiar – and growing.

Wise Guys Male Responsibility Curriculum: The Next Level is intended as a tool to help young men entering adulthood to develop a healthier concept of masculinity. It offers an understanding of strength as taking responsibility, and of fulfillment as the balanced development of the whole person. Perhaps most importantly, it offers young men the idea that they have a choice in how they define and live out their masculinity – and that the consequences of that choice have implications of vital importance for every area of their lives.

There are two challenges in particular that we urge you to focus on as you guide the young men in your groups through the material contained herein. The first is to redefine male strength. The conventional and still widely accepted image of desirable masculinity in our society is founded on the idea of strength. But the strength in that image is the strength of domination, of aggression, of the always independent loner, of the attitude that says “Look out for Number 1”. In order to be able to turn aside from the destructive consequences of this understanding, young men need help in developing a new picture of male strength – one based on the concept of taking responsibility, especially as exercised in their relationships. And that means all their relationships – with themselves as individuals, with others, and with their communities.

The second challenge is to transform male culture. It is no new revelation that young men are profoundly influenced by each other – by the expectations they believe their peers have of them. Often our efforts are focused on targeting, whether preventively or interventively, the most major offenders - the violent, the abusive, the sexually irresponsible. It is important to keep in mind that many, perhaps the majority, of the young men we work with may not ever fall into these categories – and yet they can play an important role in their prevention. By their interactions with each other, including what they don’t say as well as what they do, young men who never commit these acts can send messages of acceptance, even approval, to those who do. If we can enable them to choose new values and learn new skills in practicing them, this “silent majority” can become a powerful agent for transforming male culture.

While the focus on the following pages is on the material itself, the link between this curriculum and the young men in your group is you. No adult in this field enters it with a clean slate. We all have our own experiences, perceptual filters, and internalized cultural norms. Inevitably, as we help others do business with the issues presented herein, we wind up realizing we ourselves should not be exempt from that experience. Personal growth is an ongoing process. While the extent to which a facilitator shares their own story with their group is a matter of both personal and professional choice, your group will of course learn from your actions and attitudes as well as your words. If they see in you an adult who is earnestly engaged in these issues, that in itself will serve as a powerful encouragement to them.

The challenges ahead of you and your group are profound. If met with passion, skill and integrity, so too are the rewards. As individual and collective growth begins and continues, we realize what we are engaged in is no less than changing the world. If you as a facilitator bring your best to the effort, your group will be motivated to respond in kind. We wish you and your group the richest of success as you begin this life-changing process.

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